WORDS RACHEL EDWARDS - PHOTOGRAPHY ROWAN DALY
If you've ever been in a toxic relationship you'll know how hard it is to leave. It's not just about the prospect of losing the person, it's about having drifted so far from yourself that you no longer remember how to make decisions for yourself. Singer songwriter Ana Sky's single 'Sleeping Without You' explores this as she reflects on the space she felt after finally having the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship. On the one hand, she was grappling to come to terms with what had happened and on the other she was celebrating her new found freedom.
The ballad is filled with emotion and encapsulates Sky's own journey of self discovery and strength - after all, it was only when she left the relationship that her music career took off. Having grown up in LA and seeing firsthand the unpredictable nature of show-business, she had resigned herself to a career in science before a chance encounter saw her being catapulted into the spotlight.
When we speak, I feel like I'm speaking to someone who has lived many lives, a woman who knows who she is and what she likes. 'Sleeping Without You' is more than just a catchy song - it is an ode to having the courage to start again.
Rachel Edwards: Hey Ana! Let’s dive in - I love ‘Sleeping Without You’. I have PMS right now and I need all the emotion! Tell me, what’s the story behind it?
Ana Sky: I think it's something that a lot of people can relate to. I wrote that song right out of coming out of a breakup myself. It had been a very toxic situation for a long time and it was really hard to get myself out of because I was living with that person. As I was writing it I was speaking to that bittersweet feeling when you first come out of a breakup. I moved into a new house, I had all this space and it just felt very empty all of a sudden because that person wasn't there anymore. But in that time I also realised that the space meant that I could live the kind of life that I wanted to have and have the opportunity to start over. Even though breakups are really sad, sometimes they're also an opportunity for growth, and in this situation specifically it was a beautiful feeling to feel safe in my home again. I was exploring that sense of emptiness, but also all of the promise that came with it.
R.E: Exactly. It’s like that thing of 'burn everything to the ground to let something else grow' - the rise of the Phoenix! Sometimes it's that extreme letting go of everything to have this fresh start. What would you say is the best thing to do after a breakup to help you move on and get back to yourself?
A.S: I'm very much a believer of feeling your feelings and having a good cry but then find yourself again and get back involved. I had become so disconnected from my friends and from my life and things that actually made me happy so just getting to explore again and discover what what actually did bring happiness into my life.
R.E: I was going to ask you, what is the biggest lesson that this heartbreak taught you now looking back?
A.S: Paying attention to little things. I had known that the situation was not good for a long time, but I just wanted it to work out so badly that I chose to ignore serious warning signals. I think by the time things really spiralled out of control, all of a sudden I was looking around at my life and I didn't even recognise it anymore. It’s important to explore the feeling when things aren't good and make hard decisions earlier on so that it doesn't get to that really, really bad place. One of the lines in the song was ‘my world got so much bigger when we finally ended things’ and I feel like the person that I was with made my life so much smaller and forced me to live in the confines of what they wanted instead of allowing me to be who I wanted to be. I think when you're first coming out of a breakup it's really important to do a pulse check and see what you want your life to look like, because ultimately we do have the agency to create that. If there's someone in your life that's like stifling you and forcing you to dim your light then that's something that you need to pay attention to.
R.E: I know the feeling of coming out of something and not recognising your life. I think it's really inspiring for a lot of people to hear that there is a life after you leave these situations. I know you’re both singer and scientist! When you were young, did you see yourself being a scientist or a singer? Are the two linked in any way that people wouldn't expect?
A.S: I think they definitely are linked. When I was younger I always enjoyed singing and music, but growing up in LA and seeing so many people come and try to make it and witnessing how uncertain the entertainment industry is made me feel like it would be a smarter decision to go into a more stable career. I've always loved science, I've always been a big animal lover and I'm a very curious person. When I was young I had a really amazing biology teacher who fostered this love of biology in me that I felt was definitely the path I wanted to go down. I felt like I could sing privately and continue to foster that part of my life whilst professionally going into a more stable career like science. I never envisioned that I would pursue music, but in my heart of hearts I always dreamed of being on stage. It just all happened by accident. When that opportunity presented itself to me, I felt like, you know what, I would always regret it if I didn't see where this goes.
R.E: How did it happen by accident? Were you discovered out of the blue?
A.S: Basically I was in Nashville with my dad and our flight got delayed, and his friend that we were visiting there had a whole stage set up with lighting and a sound system and everything in his gym. My dad was doing karaoke and I was just reading my book in the back. My dad was the only person in my life that knew that I sang because I was always singing privately. So he was like ‘Anna, you have to you have to sing a song’. At first I said no, but then our flight got delayed four more hours, so I decided to sing a song. Unbeknownst to me, he was recording me while I was singing and playing piano, I had no idea!
A couple of months later, Diane Warren came into my dad's office because he's a dentist and she's his patient. On a whim he showed her the video of me from Nashville and twenty seconds in she stopped him and she was like ‘Bill, I played this exact song for my producers yesterday and said I wanted a voice that sounded like this for the song that I just wrote’. She was like ‘what is your daughter doing tomorrow? Is she available to come into the studio and sing to do a demo’? So the next thing I know I'm in the studio and I'm recording with Diane Warren and it was probably one of the best days of my life. I was there for twelve hours but it felt like it went by in twelve minutes. I became friends with a couple of her producers and one of them approached me to ask if they could work with me. I’ve also been writing poetry since I was 14, so bringing my writing to life is also a really fun part of making music.
R.E: That's an amazing story. I think that's honestly one of the best ‘how I started out' stories that I've heard. Even the flight being delayed an extra four hours, it feels like it was all supposed to happen, you know? What does your dad say now?
A.S: (Laughs) For sure! A part of me is still like ‘dad, I can't believe you showed her that video, I looked so frumpy’ but also my dad's always been my biggest advocate and he has always loved listening to me singing so he's over the moon. This has been a really fun thing to to work on with him. Going back to your question of whether there is a link between science and music, I really feel like there is for me at least, because biology is all about observing the world and asking questions and I think that level of perception and introspection really does translate into the songs that I write. I really try to write songs that are meaningful to me but also dive beneath surface level things and I think that's what biology is all about for me as well.
R.E: Yeah the... osmosis of songwriting? Is that right?
A.S: (Laughs) Exactly, yeah!
R.E: Do you think there's one poet or one poem that has like inspired you in the past? Is there anyone you'd recommend?
A.S: Definitely, I've always been a big fan of Emily Dickinson. I really think that she is such a powerful writer and I love how she personifies things in nature and the way she plays around with capitalisation of different things. For instance capitalising the moon or the sun or making like things in nature almost like a person. I think it's such a beautiful way to explore the world. I've always been a big reader and like love literature. There's poetry in so many things beyond even just like proper poems.
R.E: Yeah, poetry extends beyond words as well. Who did you grow up listening to that inspired your sound?
A.S: I think Lana Del Rey is a really big inspiration for me and she also says that her life is her poetry and her legacy is her music. But she's a very big poet, she released a book of just poetry in itself.
R.E: Did she? I didn't know that, I'm a big fan. I saw her this year in Primavera, so I need to read this book.
A.S: Oh my god, you have to check it out. She also does an audiobook reading of it and it's so beautiful because it has music in the background too. It's gorgeous. She is so captivating and such a great performer. I'm a big fan of hers as well. Beyond that, I've always loved older, more classic artists like Billie Holiday and Edith Piaf. Another person in music that I really have so much admiration and respect for is Dolly Parton. I'm not a big country person but she is just such a prolific writer and such a master when it comes to creating sounds. Her life story is so inspirational. She's written songs for so many artists you wouldn't expect, for example the Whitney Houston song ’I Will Always Love You’.
R.E: That's crazy, I didn't know that! And fashion is also a big thing for you, right? How would you describe your style?
A.S: I think I'm definitely inclined to more classic looks. I'm still really exploring my look and building my brand, but I think that I really like styles that are very elegant and timeless. In my everyday life I'm wearing a lot of sweats and jeans but when I'm performing or when I'm in public I really like to find styles with good tailoring and I'm very particular about colours and that kind of thing. The whole image is a very big part of music, especially for things like music videos and performances.
R.E: Definitely, I see that. The dresses that you wear to perform in are a little Lana Del Rey! Is there one trend that you wouldn't be seen in?
A.S: Oh, you know, it's funny because when I say I’ll never do something then the next thing I know I'm doing it. And I'm like, ‘oh, you know what? I kind of did this’. For instance, the whole really long loose shorts that go beneath the knee. I was like 'they look good on other people but it’s not for me', but then someone gave me a pair of those shorts and I tried them on I was like ‘you know what this is kind of a vibe’ so I'm a little hesitant to say I would never wear something. You know that saying ‘man makes plans and God laughs’. I say I won’t do something and I wake up doing it!
R.E: (Laughs) And obviously it is coming towards the end of the year. Have you got any New Year's resolutions for next year?
A.S: I love that question. Yes, I think that there are a lot of things that I want to learn how to do because I'm new coming into music. I didn't study this and I'm still really learning a lot of the technical things behind composition. I think I would really love to learn how to use some of these programs a little bit more like ‘Logic’ and ‘Pro Tools’ so I can continue recording and just get more experience with doing that and playing around with sounds. I would also really like to travel some more next year and I just completed a program in San Diego to be certified for embryology which is doing IVF stuff.
R.E: Wow! Do you see yourself still working in both science and music in future?
A.S: I think that if my music were to really take off I absolutely could see a world in which I put a pause on my science career. One thing I like about it is that it's always going to be there if I need it. I would love to put all of my energy into music as much as possible. So, universe willing, hopefully that will be able to happen. But again, I know how unpredictable the industry is so I don't ever want to put all my eggs into one basket unless I feel like it's really the right timing.
R.E: Yeah of course, it does feel like things are moving quite fast for you though which is amazing.
A.S: Absolutely, it's all been so crazy especially considering my previous relationship - I was so stifled in that situation and the music stuff came very soon after. I reset my life and and it feels very much intertwined with that reclaiming of my life and agency. If you had told me a year ago that I would be here and that I'd be releasing music I would have said you're crazy - never in my wildest dream!
R.E:. Isn't that so inspiring? I really think for anyone who feels like they're stuck in a situation or a relationship, this does just show that there is a future afterwards, there is another reality. And what is the most exciting thing you have coming up with music?
A.S: The release of this! I'm very excited about this song. It's obviously very meaningful for me and it was one of the first ones that I wrote. All of my songs are my babies, but this is a special one for sure. I also have some exciting collaborations that are in the works that I'm super excited about.
R.E: I have one last question for you and that is... what is your favourite F word?
A.S: I think I would have to say probably ‘freedom’. It's just something that is such an important thing for me and I'm such an independent person. And I think you really can't put a price on your freedom.
